One Last Visit
by lezonne
Summary: Hermione died at Hogwarts during a freak attack. Blaise grieves his girlfriend, but he never expected to see her again. Ghost story. Written for the Battle of the Houses part 7, the Your Favorite Hogwarts House Boot Camp prompt #1 and the Favorite Character Boot Camp prompt #16.


Written for the_ Battle of the Houses _part 7, the _Your Favorite Hogwarts House Boot Camp _prompt #1 (stars) and the _Favorite Character Boot Camp _prompt #16 (honor).

I don't think she ever realized that I loved her, least of all how deep my emotions ran. But she's gone now, and there's nothing that I can do about it now.

We used to do so many things together, from sneaking out at night to wander the school grounds to picnicking at the Quidditch Pitch when no one was around. I did everything I possibly could for her, and now she's out of my life.

I so desperately want her to return. This pain is just too real.

Now she's one of the stars, and I would give anything to join her there. Sometimes I think I see her wandering around the castle, but I know it's just my mind playing tricks on me. She wouldn't linger here, not when she could go off someplace new and escape the hurt. She wouldn't stay here.

She was a warrior when she needed to be, but a gentle soul at heart. She died with honor, a type of honor I will never know. She will forever be remembered here.

"Blaise, come on," someone says, nudging me. I look up to see Draco, who's come down to lighten my mood. He might not approve of the woman I could picture marrying, but he knows that I'm suffering now that she's gone. But nothing Draco says or does can help me. Nothing will ever help me, because no one can bring her back. "We're going down to the Quidditch pitch."

I shrug him off, remaining with my head down against the table. I don't bother looking up. "Go away Draco," I mutter, shoving his hand away. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Mate, you can't dwell on her. Granger was a nice girl I suppose, but she can't… she's not going to come back. She's gone, and you have to move past this. You can't dwell on her forever. Come on, let's go outside. It might distract you."

"Fuck off Draco," I snap, and he sighs. I'm practically impossible to be around anymore.

"Fine Blaise, but you can't wallow on her forever. Someday you're going to have to move on with your life. She would've wanted that."

"She wasn't supposed to die," I mutter, but Draco doesn't hear me. In fact I think he already turned away. It doesn't matter anyway, since I'm not looking around for him. Sighing I close my eyes tighter, hoping maybe it will make me disappear out of this hell.

Life's gotten worse and worse since the day I lost Hermione. And there's nothing I can do to get her back.

* * *

I might get caught tonight, but it doesn't really matter. I'll just serve another pointless detention and think about her the entire time, think about how she slipped through my fingers. If only she held on just a little bit longer, I might've been able to save her.

My midnight excursion is rather drab. I originally intended to venture outside and walk the same paths we used to, reminiscing, but it hurts too much to attempt something like that. I'll start thinking about her too much, and that will just depress me. I won't do that to myself, not right now.

I was loyal to Hermione every second of every day. I did everything I could to love her, protect her, and care for her. Then our new potions professor flew into a fit of rage and started firing shots down a crowded hallway. He killed seven students, one of them being Hermione. She died trying to protect two third years.

It was an honorable death, but that doesn't mean that she needed to go. I think she should've been spared for such a noble sacrifice. But she wasn't. No one could've saved her. No one tried to really.

No one could've, even Pompfrey. She bled out too fast. She died in my arms. I'll never forget that moment.

I brush angrily at me cheeks, feeling the moisture there. I can't help but cry. Having someone you love die in your arms is a traumatic experience. I don't know if I'll ever get over it.

"Don't cry," says someone softly, and I freeze at the voice. I would know that soft tone anywhere, the same tone that used to talk to me in bed at night. It's the voice of a person who I thought was dead. Whirling around, my eyes bulge.

Hermione. She's there, right in front of me. But I instantly see the difference about her, and my heart falls.

She's a ghost. She died here at Hogwarts nobly, and I fear that this is where she will stay. I rub my eyes twice, making sure she's really there. She isn't the smiling, energized woman I've come to know. She looks sad- pained even.

I guess death does that to a person. I wonder if there's anything to smile about in the afterlife.

"Don't be afraid Blaise," she whispers, probably reading the stricken look on my face, "It's just me."

I feel my hands shaking and I step towards her slowly reaching out an arm. I want so desperately to touch her that it hurts. The fact that she is so close to me but also so far away is almost too much to bear. It hurts a little.

I reach her, and try to touch her cheek. My hand passes through and she quickly backs away. I drop my arm, defeated.

She's dead. I have to remember that. The tears are welling in my eyes before I can help it.

"Don't cry Blaise," she says, staring at me. "Please. I'm okay now."

"You're not okay Hermione! You're dead!"

"Shh! Someone might hear you!" She looks around, as though she's the one who should be worried about curfew instead of me. But she'll never have to worry about something trivial like that again.

"I don't care," I snap, feeling the tears starting to run down my face. "You aren't okay Hermione. You're… you're-"

"I'm dead," she says, wincing at the word. "I know. I'm still… getting used to it."

"Yeah, you're dead," I repeat, shaking my head. It's almost too much to bear, seeing her like this now. "Merlin, why did you go? Why did you have to protect them?"

She smiles softly. "They were just children Blaise, and he was insane. They didn't deserve to die."

"You didn't deserve to die!"

"I know- I know." She sighs. "I wasn't trying to, I promise. It wasn't supposed to end this way."

"Why are you apologizing to me Hermione? It's not your fault. You were just doing what comes naturally to you… protecting people. I just wish… I wish that it didn't come at the cost of your life."

"Yeah, so do I. I still had a lot of plans."

"I had plans with you," I whisper, shaking my head. It's so wrong that I can talk to her… but I can't touch her. I can' hold her, grab her, feel her. She's there, but at the same time she isn't. "What… why are you still here?"

She gives me a soft smile. "I wanted to say goodbye. Once you get on this train, you never come back. I know it's been a few weeks Blaise but I didn't want to come back immediately. I know it hurts now but it would've hurt so much more back then."

"You came to say goodbye?" I ask, feeling my heart constrict. "I won't see you again… even this way?"

She shakes her head, biting her lip. "No. I didn't get on the train because I knew I couldn't just leave without saying something to you. You've been so devastated. I know I'm going to have to pay the price for running away from my next destination, but I had to see you one final time and tell you I'm sorry."

"Hermione-"

"No, please, let me finish Blaise. I came back to see you because I couldn't imagine leaving you this way. It breaks all of the rules, but that's alright with me, just so long as I can tell you that I'm okay now."

"But you're dead! You're not okay."

"I'm not hurting Blaise," she says softly, giving me a faint smile. I hardly even remember the pain. It faded so fast."

"Don't say things like that."

"My point, darling, is that I don't want you to dwell on me. We can't change what has happened, and we can't go back in time. Even if we could, I would want you to remain here in this reality instead. Things… well, things always happen for a reason."

"That's not always true," I say, sinking into the floor. "You can't go. You can't leave me here."

"And I can't stay either. You and my friends would be bound to the castle forever, knowing it's the only way you can see me. I don't want that to happen. I want you to grieve as all humans should for me, and then I want all of you to pick up your lives and move on."

"I can't," I say, sounding pathetic. "Hermione you're the only person who ever really got me. You can't go away."

"There will be other girls Blaise," she whispers, backing away. "You have your whole life to live, and you must live it. Someday we'll meet again, hopefully when you are old, grey and well-lived. I understand that it's hard now, but things will get better. I want you to try to move on. You have lots to live for."

"So what- I'm just supposed to forget about you? I'm supposed to forget that you died in my arms?"

"You don't have to forget anything," she replies, shaking her head. "You just have to let go. I understand it will take time, but someday in the future, please do. Don't make yourself miserable over one fallen soul. People die all the time, and we as humans have to learn to cope with that reality."

I purse my lips, staring at the woman I love in front of me. I'll never see her again in just a few moments.

"Tell me something Hermione?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you love me? I mean, if things turned out differently, could we have had a future together?"

Emotion flickers across her face, but it's gone too quickly before I can gage what she's truly thinking. There's a long pause before she speaks again.

"If you had asked me to marry you Blaise, I would've said yes. But save that ring for another lucky girl. You deserve some happiness in your life."

I gasp, ducking my head. I never truly knew that she felt so strongly about me…

"I have to go," she whispers, backing away still. I look up, watching her face contort. "I can't escape my fate Blaise, I have to go. Please, try to be happy for me. Try to move on."

I'm unable to form a single word. She's only been here for a few minutes, yet she already has to go? It just isn't fair.

"I won't forget you," I whisper, the tears streaming down my face again. "I'll never be able to forget you."

A single blink is all it takes, and the ghost of my girlfriend is gone. I'm sitting alone on the floor, cheeks wet from tears. I've never felt such strong emotion before.

She's gone, and now all I can think about is one thing; honoring her wishes. It's the least I can do for her, after her sacrifice.

I will never forget Hermione. I loved her too much.

And it's going to take some time and healing, but I will honor her wishes. If nothing else, I will make her proud of me in the afterlife.

But I still miss her so much. It's going to be a long, long walk to recovery.

_~FIN~_


End file.
